ALONE By Princess Dogoh
ALONE By Princess Dogoh Looking at the different bottles of drugs I held in my hand. I couldn’t help but sigh. So this is how I’m going to end up dieing through drug overdose. It was going to be, slow painless and yet effective, just the way I wanted it.
I had thought of taking poison but I couldn’t bring myself to do that, I don’t want anything that would cause me more pain. I just wanted all the pain I felt to go away.
Who would have thought I would have ended up taking my own life. I don’t think anybody could have imagined that. I’m always so full of fake smiles, pretending that I’m fine.
That I’m always okay but you know what, I’m tired of it, I’m not okay, I’m so tired of having to smile all the time to cover my aching heart.
I’ve tired to shut the pain out but it won’t go away. Im literally dieing from the inside out but no one notices.
I don’t think they care anyways. People are all the same, no one loves me, no one cares about me, they all say they do but they don’t. They just keep lieing to me and I’m sick of it.
They can’t see my pain, they don’t know how I feel. Life is just messed up. I wish, I had people who really loved me.
My mom is just so busy making money to cater for myself and my sister that she barely has time for us.
I know its hard trying to make end meets but a little attention won’t hurt. All we ever get are the best things her money can afford but I wish I felt loved as well.
No matter how I try to talk to her she always shuts me off telling me “I’m tired”, or “we’ll talk about this later” which will never happens. Sometimes i feel like she blames herself for giving birth to us, like we robbed her of her dreams and the life she always wanted.
It hurts and its so frustrating, I feel like I’m alone in this world.
Being the product of a broken home isn’t easy at all. I barely see my dad and the only time he visits, he’s always eager to leave.
He never gets tired of complaining about everything. He keeps saying that marrying my mom was a mistake and he regrets having kids with her.
That he only got married to her because she was pregnant with me. He didnt love her and he doesn’t love us.
He never says it to our faces but I always eavesdrop and overhear him telling my mom that whenever they argue.
My heart breaks because I always wanted a fathers love but sadly I didn’t get any. And that was when I knew that I was just unwanted, i will always be unloved and I was alone……. To be continued.
By Princess Dogoh🌹
I opened my eyes slowly but was almost blinded by a bright light. Is the road to heaven I asked myself? I saw,figures moving in white. I thought they were angels but I realized they had no wings. I guess I was hallucinating.
I found my self in a hospital bed and i was confused. I was meant to be dead by now so why am I here?Unless…..No!No! No! It didnt work and I was angry.
I tried to move my body but the pain in my stomach was unbearable and I had to lie still. I saw a nurse coming to check my vitals and to administer an injection to me. I tried to protest but I was so weak, so I was shouting…”Leave me alone, let me die, I want to die.”
Only for my mom to enter the room and start ranting. “Lillian, why did you to kill yourself? This girl wants to kill me ohhh. If I hadn’t forgotten my breif case for an important meeting at home, I won’t have found you until its too late.
And thankfully your door wasnt locked. I was so shocked seeing you home lookibg lifeless. Do you know they had to get your stomach pumped to get rid of all those toxins? Why did you have to kill yourself ? You want them to see me as a bad mother abi? So that your fathers people will say I neglected you. Thank God you did not die. After all I’ve been doing for you and your sister, this is how you want to repay me.” I know that if not for the condition I was in, she would have landed me a heavy slap.
Oh shit, I should have locked the door. No wonder im alive. I wish I’m no longer in this world, the pain is too much. I just ignored her, I wish she could understand me but she cant and I don’t think she ever will. Whenever I try to talk to her she shuts me out so I see no need to start now. I just sighed and shut my eyes and tried to sleep, thats the only place i can find peace anyways. I just hate my life……To be continued