I didnt attend choir practise on saturday nor church service on Sunday because i didn’t want to see Mrs Williams. I’ve made up my mind not to tell her anything and i knew she would ask me if she set her eyes on me.
I didn’t know i was only adding more petrol to a burning fire. Some choir members came again after service to check on me, thinking i haven’t recovered fully or not strong enough to attend service.Of course when i saw them,i pretended to be weak still.
Bode came later in d evening when everybody had left.
He said “I knew you didn’t come to church today because of me, not
because of your health. U refuse to forgive me despite my pleas. I
told u its d work of d devil, please let’s be doing as we use to
do before..pls n
ow”..He began to weep.
I was moved with passion when i saw him weeping.I went to him, gave him a gentle pat on d back, and said “Dt’s okay. Stop crying.It wasnt only your fault, but mine too.We both need to ask God for forgiveness and make sure it doesn’t happen ever again….”
Before i could finish my sentence, he got up, held me and began to kiss me. Every attempt to rescue myself out of his hand failed.At a time,i surrendered, and again….It happened!
Before i could put myself together,Bode dressed up and ran out of my room.
I started weeping.
“Lord,i’ve done it again. I disobeyed U. I didn’t yield to d voice of d Holyspirit. What will i do now?”.
For days, i was praying and weeping, asking God for forgiveness and what to do, i didn’t hear anything as i heard it earlier.It was so obvious dt something was wrong with me, as i was a shadow of myself. Even my dressing changed,a 60yr old woman would dress better.
Everyone was asking,”what’s wrong with you?. Hope there’s
no problem.Are u still sick?”.
My usual answer was “No problem,all is well”..but within me,i knew nothing was well.
I wasn’t attending mid-week services also. I would prefer to be in my room, and be thinking. D thought dt bothered me most was “Will God ever forgive me?.
If d first one was a mistake, what about ds one?”.
Mrs Williams called me one wednesday evening after having prayer meeting in church.”Sis Sewa,i noticed u were not in church today for d prayer meeting, how are u?.
Are you not
“I’m fine ma”.
“Then,why have u been keeping urself away from church?”.
“U’ve started again.Oh!.Dt reminds me, u promised to tell me something d other day ,will u come and see me tomorrow after school?. I will be waiting for u at d church office.”
“What time ma?”
“Let’s make it 4pm”.
She hung up.
My heart began to beat very fast. I could hear d sound.
What will i say?. Maybe i should just cook up a story..but,what if she knew it’s all lies. Oh my God!..what
mess have i gotten myself into?. How will i get out of ds now?.
As i was pondering over ds,my phone rang.
It was my dad. I picked it.
What did he say?.
We shall see in d next part.