Her family is a shame; Part 11!

Episodes of lifestyle

I kon remember the text message wey mama send me for night, na fear I take delete the message, I hear my wife come out from bathroom. I no read the message finish. As I take my phone for where I keep am, I call mama, to ask am wetin she send me for message…
Dunn dunn… dunn

Mama; hello, my love. How you dey this morning?”

Chima; good morning, mama. I dey fine. I sure say you dey enjoy your new motor”

Mama; nna eeh, no be small thing o. Na me be talk of the town now. My fellow women wan use jealousy finish me. I thank you for dat driver wey you send gimme, na him dey carry me go everywhere now, I just dey balance for back as car owner. God never bless you finish for everything wey you dey do for me. As you dey put smile for my face so, na so God go take dey belleful your pocket”…

Chai, anybody wey dey where mama dey pray now, go think say na with clear eyes I take dey waste the kain money wey I dey waste for her head, dem no go know say I dey sleep with am, dis life sef…

Chima; amen o, mama. Thank you. I see the message wey you send me yesterday night, but I no fit read am because Precious dey for room, I kon delete am with fear, make she no see am”

Mama; you do well, nna. E good as you delete am. The thing be say, my shop don ready, I don fix am finish, na goods remain to buy now. My friend tell me say na for Dubai or Saudi Arabia be better place to go buy lace, dem dey sell original, I no wan sell cheap material at all. I wan carry Cynthia, my pikin, go Dubai, make e easy for me. Wetin I want now, na make you sponsor us, do the visa and flight and the hotel wey we go stay, na only 6 days. We don already get international passport”

Chima; no problem, Dubai na small thing, I go do am. I go test you my email for WhatsApp, make you send me the data page of una passport, when you ready, so that I go give my agent to process everything”

Mama; I trust you na. I know say you no go disappoint me. Ehen, na first class you go put us o, you know say I never enter flight before, I wan dey comfortable wella, I no wan go dey manage with those poor people inside economy. I hear say dem dey pack dem like sardine, and you go put us for 5 star hotel for there. My children say na there life dey for dubai, where big people dey stay, all dis politicians dem, just like dat one wey you and Precious stay dat time wey una go”

Chima; haaaa! Mama! First class keh? You know how many millions first class be for one person? E kon be two people. I no fit do dat one o, I no go lie. Who even tell you say economy na for poor people? Me and my wife don enter economy wella, and we no poor dat time. You no suppose dey make this kain choice, pity me na, upon everything wey I don do for you, nobody for this life go ever spend dat kain money”

Mama; Chima, no talk like dat o. I know say you don try, but no be for free you dey do all the things wey you dey do for me. Like now sef, we don turn serious lovers. The way I dey look you sef, e be like you don love me pass your wife.

Na love make you dey spend wetin you dey spend, and I know say money no be problem for you, na rich man you be, if say you no get money, I no go disturb you like dat, so no dey complain, I no dey like hear man complain, e dey bite me for body, you no be woman. As for the first class, na wetin I want and na wetin you go do for us. You and Precious dey enter first class anyhow like say na una kitchen e dey. Una go just use pictures dey intimidate us like say we be suffer heads. Chima, abeg, me sef wan balance for first class like una, I no go enter economy”

Chima; hmmm! E don do, make we no argue. When una ready, make you let me know, so dat I go run am”

Mama; we don ready now. No be say e get wetin I dey do for lagos. I go like make we travel dis month, as my shop don ready, e don begin count. Dat mail thing wey you talk, I no sabi do am, shebi we don plan say we go see tomorrow, make I kukuma carry the passports come once. E go better like dat”

Chima; okay na, till tomorrow”…

As I cut the call, e just be like say person tear me hot slap, my eyes clear. Na mama demands with command tear me the hot slap. I begin think. When all dese wahala wan end, bikonu? I no even dey enjoy the thing again sef, whuch kain enjoyment be dis? Something wey over cost like this? How much dem dey sell bungalow for Awoyaya? Between 15-20 million naira, I don buy another clean bungalow put for rent. Na d kain money wey I don spend for two people head, enjoyment wey my wife dey gimme for free. Omo, mehn, dis one don pass becoming o. To do this first class dubai travel for dem now go cost me more than 10 million naira, haaaa!

Enough don full cup, I no do again. Dem no go gba me forever. Dis fear wey I dey fear to confess to my wife dey make enter more wahala. Shebi if say I tell am on time, I no go waste all the money I don waste. No be only Dubai, na Durban. If I tell my wife finish, I go face the gbegeh wey go come out, anything wey she do me, I deserve am. Tomorrow, I dey go collect my motor back from mama, if na only dat one I recover, make the rest be my lesson. Old woman body cost like this, tufiakwa.

Later for night, as my wife don settle down make she sleep, na so I gather myself, tell am to sidon, say e get serious confession wey I wan do…

To be continued

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